First Trip: Get Up and Walk the Land 15
Dor pressed a hand to his stomach and winced. “I guess now is not the best time to inform you I really need to go to the bathroom…”
“We’re not in danger! Let us out!” Tamar cried as she shook the basket like a prisoner rattling the bars of her cage. “Pleeeeeeease!”
“That’s not true. Dor is about to explode and make this cave uninhabitable for the next eight thousand years.”
Eran sighed. “Thanks, Yaniv…”
This was a predicament. Say what you will about the offspring of Cain; they knew how to weave a mean basket. Naturally, there was no reception in the cave and the spot chosen by the children was isolated enough so that none of the giants would hear the humans’ cries.
If Eran didn’t call his mother soon, giants would be the least of his troubles. Oh, and there was also the matter of the mysterious junkyard with the monster he needed to warn the authorities about. Who knew? Maybe they were Iranian mutants hiding an atomic bomb? A second holocaust could be in the making and all he could do was simmer inside a huge picnic basket!
“These guys are really annoying.” Dor said. “If they weren’t twenty meters high… POW!” He punched his palm. Waffle covered her mouth and giggled.
“Can’t be twenty.” Yaniv protested while moving around and exploring the fibers with his long fingers. “Even the ceiling isn’t that high. I’d say seven at most.”
Dor narrowed his eyes. “Careful. My foot may be screwed, but you have nowhere to run here. I’m seriously not in the mood for your bullshit right now… I’m in the mood for my shit,” he added miserably.
“Hmmmm... ” Yaniv rubbed his chin. He made another round, this time poking the basket in seemingly random spots.
Dor punched the basket with all his strength. “It’s pointless!”
Yaniv lay lowered himself near the edge of the basket with a groan worthy of a great old Jew. “If you say so…”
“And the most useless worm of the round award goes to…” Dor pointed at his prone friend with both hands.
Waffle slumped to the floor and hugged her knees to her chest. This revealed an intricate brand on her waist. She noticed Eran looking and hastily pulled her shirt down. Embarrassed, Eran turned away. She must think I’m a total creep by now…
“I just heard something crunching outside,” Yaniv commented as he studied the basket.
“I don’t like this!” Tamar whimpered. “I’m scared.”
“It will become much scarier when one of us has to go number two.” Yaniv shifted his position to study the basket from a different angle.
“Stop it!” Tamar cried. “We can’t spend a whole night here!”
“Their mom said six days,” Yaniv said.
“Whatever!” Tamar cried and then added quietly. “I kinda have to pee…”
“We’ll look away.” Yaniv pulled a ruler from his backpack and measured a pebble on the ground.
Waffle gently squeezed Tamar’s shoulder for moral support. “Maybe us up box together?” Unlike Tamar, Waffle didn’t look particularly scared. It seemed she was only upset about how upset everyone else was.
Dor shook his head. “It’s too heavy.”
He tried to cut the fibers with his penknife. Eran tried to break the fibers with a rock. Then everyone minus Yaniv tried to push the basket. All this achieved was Waffle slipping and skinning her knee. Nothing worked.
“At least we won't starve," Eran said, mostly to console himself. "I am a little concerned about water since the girls don’t have any—”
Tamar bristled. “Well excuse me for not planning to be kidnapped by creatures we studied in first grade!”
“You’re forgiven.” Eran said. “Right now, the main problem is the other end of our digestive system.”
Tamar crossed her thighs. “I’d rather not think about it…”
“I’m going to kill these giant idiots,” Dor declared. “I’m going to bash their brains in! There must be some way to destroy this basket!” He looked around wildly. “It’s only wood. Maybe we can burn it?”
“Don’t you dare!” Tamar cried. “Oy, it’s pointless. This basket must weigh a ton.”
“Nah… only a few hundred kilos.” Yaniv said.
“What the azazel does it matter?” Dor exploded. “Few hundred kilos or a million tons? We’re stuck here and your pedantic bullshit’s not helping anyone!”
Yaniv rose from the ground and dusted his shirt and pants. “Okay, I have an idea how to lift this thing.”
“Are you deaf?” Dor shouted. “I just said that there is no way to move it!”
“The problem,” Yaniv spoke as he circled the basket, “is that instead of listening in class, you spend the whole day looking at maps and preparing for a zombie apocalypse or a kaiju invasion…”
He marked a spot on the ground by grinding it with the tip of his shoe. “For example, if you listened in Slava’s class, you would have known that work equals force multiplied by displacement.”
“What does that have to do with anything?” Dor’s hate engine was starting to rev.
“Aa-ta-ta-ta…” Yaniv shook his finger at Dor’s face. “Zombies are your domain. Physics is mine.”
He unzipped Dor’s backpack. Before Dor had time to protest, Yaniv pulled out the telescopic club and expanded it to its full length with all the elegance of grandma trying to operate a smartphone.
“Applied to our current situation, this means that if we increase the length of the stick, we decrease the strength needed to produce the same amount of work.”
“A lever!” Eran exclaimed. “Ahlah idea!”
“Very good!” Yaniv said. “I see someone took the occasional break from drawing dragons and naked women with swords to open his textbook once or twice.”
Tamar’s face shone. “Does anyone have a charger? My phone is almost dead and I want to record this.”
“I have a mobile charging station.” Dor handed Tamar a metal tube with a short cable dangling from it. The girl snatched it like a drug addict.
Following Yaniv’s instructions, the boys piled backpacks in front of a narrow crevice under the edge of the basket while Yaniv used the club to expand the gap by repeatedly stabbing it. Yaniv then carefully slid the lever into this gap and balanced it on the makeshift fulcrum. “Dor, if you would lend us your strength…”
Dor pushed Yaniv out of the way (even though the slender kid did not stand in the way) and placed both hands on the club. He began to push. His muscles bulged, his face contorted and his breathing became labored. Eran would have gladly added his meager force to the endeavor, but the club was simply too short to be handled by more than one person. The basket began to rise.
Waffle lay on her side and peered through the crack. “Wow…”
Tamar scooped Yaniv into a smothering embrace. “You’re a genius!”
Yaniv responded by awkwardly patting the top of her head. “No, I just listen in class.”
“I guess I’ll just stay here and die then,” Dor grumbled, his brow glistening with perspiration. “I don’t think any of you quarter chickens can hold the club.” Sweat from his face left dark stains on the cave floor. “How will I leave?”
“Yaniv and I will go outside and find something to secure the basket,” Eran suggested. “You stay inside with the girls and lift the basket when we give the signal. Let’s not alert the other giants. I don’t think they like us very much…”
“How about you stay and I go?” Tamar looked at Waffle for support, but all the little Bedouin had to offer the conversation was a dusty mane and a dusty butt.
Dor groaned. “Make up your mind before this stupid club squeezes my guts out!”
“Waffle, taharuk!” Yaniv said in a commanding voice. “I’m going out before the stupidity of this argument causes irreversible damage to my brain.”
“Wait! I’m coming with you!” As Tamar crouched to crawl through the gap, she playfully slapped Waffle on her raised behind. The girl jumped to her feet and glared at Tamar.
Tamar flinched. “I’m sorry, Waffle, I—”
“Not Waffle!” the little Bedouin snapped. “Wafaa! Say name right! Not bread. Woman!” She pointed at herself with her thumb. “Wafaa. Respect!”
While this drama was taking place, Yaniv sprawled on his belly and slithered through the opening with serpentine alacrity. “Once more unto the breeeeeee—”
His speech turned into a screech as he was dragged out of the basket from outside. As he kicked about, he displaced the lever, causing the basket to snap back and fill the small space with choking dust. Dor pulled back his hand with a yelp. The girls jumped back, their quarrel forgotten.
Eran sighed. “These must be the cousins they were talking about…”